Going Home

Today my family went back to our previous church to visit, it was something we had planned to do several years ago shortly after we had left it, but never got around to it. But after listening to our current pastor, Bill - we decided it was time to do it, or we would never do it.

As we approached the parking lot, old memories flooded our minds as this was something we had done so many years before; anxiety, sadness and memory lane came back. The second we came upon the door we were greeted by the greeter who had been there six years ago. It was good to know Gerald is still up to his greeting business and welcomed us wholeheartedly. Once we get passed him, there seemed like there was a slew of people who were waiting to see who had appeared at the door. Hugs and quick catch ups were soon to follow and ushering us to the kitchen to get refreshments and doughnuts. Once service began, I looked around and for a majority, things had not changed. The same songs were sung, the same people were around, the same 'rituals' had not changed. I remember also thinking this is where I got my start on knowing and starting my relationship with God. It was here, where the foundation was laid; it was here, where we were challenged; it was here, that both of my girls were dedicated to the Lord; it was here, that we formed friendships -old and new- that still impact our lives today; it was here, that this was the only kind of worship that my children had come to know; it was the people in this house that people ministered to us when we found out we were going to lose a child; it was here, that we began to grow up. So many memories, that will be forever cherished in my heart.

I remember when we went there, that it was always mentioned that this was an oasis to be fed with the Word of God; many people were going to come and drink from the fount and move on. Move on is what we did and sadly not in the way that God had wanted us to do things. Yes, I believe that moving on from ALF was the best thing for our family, but in the manner in which we (I) did it was not the way of God. I had left for selfish reasons and did not wait for the spiritual leader of the house to move first; I took things in my own hands. In this manner, our family suffered but recovered, only by the grace of God.

During the time of communion (which I had forgotten they did every week instead of every once in a while like we do at our current church) a sadness came over me and I began to tear up. I don't know if it was knowing that Pastor Joe is really sick and we came to 'clear the air' or if was a sense of foreboding for where this church will be if Joe decided to stop his ministry. Where would people go if this place closed? Would people be able to find another place to worship and be fed the Word of God? Would people feel lost? I know deep down God would direct their paths but it is still a feeling I can't shake off...

Before we left church, Sarah wanted to go downstairs and recapature the memories of when her and two older girls would chase each other down the hall before and after Sunday School. She recollected that rooms and areas seemed smaller to her now and than what they did then...only natural. I think it was good for the girls to go back - home - and see where they came from; that old wounds can be healed and see the direction that their future can take. I don't know if we'll go back and visit, but we can know there will always be a family of believers that will take us back in a heartbeat.